Happy this week, everybody! The squirrels are trying to kill me. There’s a massive horse chestnut tree outside my flat, and whenever I walk under it they drop conkers on my head. The squirrels are clearly Maw cultists. They want to give me a concussion and choke off the supply of video game news to the Maw, which will then manifest fully and bring about an age of darkness. Well, the joke’s on you, squirrels, because I used to play grass hockey as a kid and I’ve been hit in the head by hard round objects a million times over. How else do you explain my choice of career? Anyway, here’s a curated list of PC games that are out in the next five days.